The second half of 2009

So here we are in July of 2009.  The year is now officially half over which means I need to get cracking on the rest of my “to do before the end of this year” list that I created in my head back in January.  So let’s see…

Get a new job – check!

Get some freaking boundaries – check!

Be more open-minded and less judgmental of others – check!

Become more aware of my eating habits – 1/2 check, almost to a full check

New wardrobe – check!  (though this is a work in progress forever, am I right, girls?)

New iPhone – check!  Thanks Honey!

And now for the ones that aren’t done yet…

Find a tattoo design

New hairstyle

Wear more makeup – eh, about a quarter of the way there, at least I now own makeup, just need to get it from the drawer on to my face

Learn how to cook

Yoga

So, yeah, lots of work to do.  Fun stuff though, huh?  Yeah, I’m pretty jazzed now.  Ok, see you later, off to play with some eye shadow.

From www.icanhascheezburger.com

Surprise Wedding Reception

Improv Anywhere threw a couple of strangers a surprise wedding reception.  It’s actually a really cute story.  Read it and see the photos and video here: http://improveverywhere.com/2009/06/02/surprise-wedding-reception/

Go Watch This… Now. Please. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7fxIWIQ0ww

There is something indescribable about seeing someone take a huge risk to see if they have what it takes to achieve their dream.  A close second to that is watching that person realize that their dream might very well come true just because they had the guts to give it a go.  It gives me chills and makes me appreciate this life a little bit more.

Watching this video I think the thing that hit me most is after he’s done dancing and the crowd is cheering, he looks to his left and finds his mother waiting in the wings of the stage.  The look on his face is so unsure and so shy and I remembered at that moment that he’s just a little boy out there in front of some very powerful people, and he’s so very vulnerable.  For that moment, his mom is the only one he sees.  She gives him a double thumbs up and you can see the relief course through is entire body.  Mom’s there with him, she’s happy, she’s smiling, everything’s ok.  Overwhelming for sure, but he knows can do this because she’s there.

stalled engine…

I’m stuck.  Not sure what to write about.  Whenever that happens, I go for the easy answer – lists!  For kicks, here is a list of things that I used to be afraid of, but aren’t afraid of anymore…this one has been bouncing around in my head for a few days…

- People dressed up in costumes (like at Disneyland, or Santa)
- Driving
- The dark
- Flying
- Shots – the kind at the doctor, not the kind at the bar
- Trying new things or new foods
- My husband’s driving
- Swimming
- Turning 30
- Being a mom – shoot, being a wife, let’s throw that one in while we’re here
- Owning expensive sunglasses

Granted, some of these are silly, but some of them used to cause major anxiety for me.  Just ask my mom about the whole Santa thing.  Seriously bizarre fear, but paralyzingly horrible for me as a kid.  I still remember that feeling and catch myself even now at age 30 getting a little freaked out when I see someone all dressed up in costume like that.

I have to actively remind myself that there is nothing to fear anymore.  I understand now as an adult that it’s just a human behind all that make up and foam padding, nothing to be afraid of.  It’s good though to remember that whenever I face a fear that I have yet to conquer.  At the end of the day, most of my fears are just very un-scary things masquerading around in costumes that make them seem a lot bigger than they actually are.  Huh.

One year ago this Friday

On March 27th, 2008 I blogged that “today sucked”.  Well, lookee here.  One year later almost to the day and guess what?  Today sucked.

More later, maybe.

Ancient histories of pain…

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of lonliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity.
In the flush of love’s light
we dare be brave
and suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.
~ Maya Angelou

Good Day

Things I did today…

Slept in

Went outside – it was beautiful this morning

Fed ducks

Saw old friends and met new ones

Swung on a swingset

Watched my husband laugh

Played on a playground

Took a nap

Discovered a new hairstyle

Smiled

Plinky – Words that I dislike (they said “hate”, but I don’t like that word)

Irregardless
It's not a real word!

Can't
I don't like it when people say they can't, especially when they haven't tried.

Octomom
Overused, unimaginative, comic-book-y.

Awkward
I never spell it right the first time, and well, it's awkward.

Everything is amazing, Nobody is happy

Saw this today on www.neatorama.com.  Had to share…