Dreaming…

If I could know any language… I would know Portuguese.

If I could do any job… I would be a ghost hunter.

If I could be anywhere… I would be on an island in the South Pacific.

If I could talk to anyone… I would talk to my grandmother who passed away when I was little.

If I could change anything… I would have never quit dancing.

If I could be anyone… I would be me.

Postcard from the Edge

I picked up a random postcard a few weeks back at Liberty Market while shopping for a gift for a friend.  It says, “If what’s in your dreams wasn’t already inside of you, how could you even dream it?”.

I’m still not sure why I bought it.  Even now, that phrase doesn’t really evoke any kind of overwhelming response.  It’s just there, bouncing around in my head making me wonder why I like it.  And to tell you the truth, I’m not even sure I like it.  It kind of bugs me sometimes.  I have it stuck in the frame of a white board that sits above my desk so every time I sit down, I see it.  It’s red and white and stares at me while I shop online for my newest obsessions like boots and coffee and Moody Blues songs.  I can see it just outside of my peripheral vision and I have memorized the words at this point so it just repeats over and over.

I’m beginning to resent its smug attitude.  Like it knows my dreams, knows the things that keep me awake at night and is daring me – double-dog daring me -  to explain and negotiate them out of existence.  After all, wouldn’t that be easier than actually moving to make them real?  Seems that way.  But no, it’s there reminding me that if I wasn’t already capable of achieving these things, they wouldn’t be in my heart in the first place.  All that it’ll take is action and good amount of courage to start the domino effect that will eventually make them come true.

That should make me happy, huh?  Instead, I’m wasting my time feeling trapped.

Can you see us?

So lately my favorite tv show has been Ghost Whisperer.  I had never seen an episode until about 3 months ago when I happened upon one and watched for a few minutes before turning the channel.  I asked my mom about it because I was confused about the premise and I knew she had watched it before.  She explained it all and I knew I would be tuning in again.  For those of you who don’t watch it, Jennifer Love Hewitt plays a woman named Melinda that has been able to see and speak to the spirits of people who have died since she was a child.  Her purpose in life is to help cross lost souls over to the “light”.  She helps them by giving them the opportunity to resolve problems with the living that are keeping them from having peace after death.

I like it for a number of reasons, the first of all being Melinda’s wardrobe.  Her clothes are to die for (ha!).   She’s an antique dealer by day so her outfits have an eccentric, vintage feel that I love.  But the main reason I watch is for the mythology of the show.  I’m not even really sure that’s the right term to use, but in Sci Fi programs, the “mythology” is the back story or the world view that the writers (usually) stick to when formulating the stories.  In the case of Ghost Whisperer, the writers had to create rules for how the living world interacted with the spiritual realm.  I have read enough paranormal books and seen enough ghost hunting shows to know that there are about as many view points on this subject as there are “experts” in the field.  I am still undecided on how I personally believe it works, but if I had my choice on what was true, I would pick the way it works on this show.

I had no idea I felt this way until I had watched a few episodes (thank God for reruns on Ion Television and SyFy).  This revelation came because I noticed that I always got emotional at the same two points in each story.  Both usually occuring in the last 10 minutes of each show.  The first is when the poor lost soul touches or says good-bye to their loved one.  The living person always reacts to the touch.  It’s written as a sweet emotional moment on purpose so it’s no surprise I am affected, but I tend to tear up because I love the thought that those who have passed on can reach out and comfort us in our moments of great loss.  Especially when it is them that we are missing.  The second instance is when that moment has passed and the “light” becomes visible for the spirit.  Sometimes they ask “Is that for me?” or “What is that?” and Melinda will need to explain “It’s for you.”  That gets me every time especially if they see loved ones who have already died on the other side.  They are suddenly excited, overjoyed even that they get to be with them.  They usually describe it as beautiful and all fear that may have existed about “crossing over” vanishes and they can hardly wait to move on.  It’s as if they are beginning a whole new life instead of leaving one behind.  I find that thought exhilerating.

It’s such a formulaic moment, as it comes at the end of every episode, rain or shine, no matter what the show was about and still, I love it.  I love that moment just as if I was actually there, as if that was how it really worked.  Now, this show is supposedly based on James Van Pragh and what he has experienced as a Medium, but I still can’t quite believe it.  It is just a tv show, after all.  So, for now, I’m going to take from it what I can… entertainment and a good cry topped with some great clothes.

LLPOF

So, Melissa’s right, I’m a liar. I said I’d post yesterday and I didn’t. I hang my head in shame.

I really do have some things to share, I just can’t find the time. I’ll try again for tonight. Stay tuned…

Watching Football… against my will

My husband asked me to watch football with him tonight in an effort to get me interested in and educated about the game. I’m trying. I really am, but it’s not clicking. Maybe it’s an acquired taste. Like beer.

Either way, I’m going to make this short so I can get back to the game and try to understand why pass interference makes any sense. I’ll be back tomorrow. Did lots of thinking today and have some things to write about. Finally.

Daily Lives

All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.
- Dalai Lama

Only love…

In this world,

hate never yet dispelled hate.

Only love dispels hate.

This is the law,

ancient and inexhaustible.

- Buddha

Are you happy?

Original found here…Link

Well, are you?

This is how I’m going to choose my next car…

Great Article: When Your Biggest Problem is YOU

I read a really amazing article on cnn.com today.  Here is my favorite excerpt…

“Anticipation, anticipation is making me late…

“One of my theories,” says the evil Count in William Goldman’s classic story “The Princess Bride,” “is that pain involves anticipation.” He then leaves the captive hero, Westley, chained next to the Machine, a torture device the Count has promised to use on Westley later.

An albino dungeon-keeper offers Westley a way out. “You deserve better than what’s coming,” he says in a moment of compassion. “Please let me kill you. You’ll thank me, I swear.” Only Westley’s superhuman fortitude keeps him from accepting.

The Count’s theory about anticipation is right on the money. And self-sabotage is the mind’s way of accepting the albino’s offer. Like Whitney or Olga, we may screw up in precisely the places we want most to succeed, not realizing that we’re subconsciously trying to force a resolution, to stop the anxious feeling that’s hanging over our heads, to lose the job rather than continue to worry about a pink slip.

To resolve the situation, we must first recognize that we’re using counterphobic mechanisms. And that means punching through denial.”

Click here to read the full article by Martha Beck.