Of where I’ve been

About two and a half years ago, I decided it was time for something new.  A new career, a new life purpose, a whole new way of looking at my existence, it was time for something that would change my life forever.  I thought I found that new thing in a career of helping others in relatively unconventional way.  I studied and I worked hard.  I put a lot of things on hold and gambled with our financial security (and credit score).  I took a Giant leap of faith and thought I was doing everything right.  And still, when all was said and done and I was ready to live out the great purpose for which I thought I was preparing, nothing happened.  Nothing like what I was expecting, anyhow.  Instead, other things changed.  Things I never saw coming.

In the end, it was me that changed the most.  Not my purpose or path in life.  I became a bit more grown-up, realistic, and, yeah, a little cynical.  I’d even say bitter on some days.  I said I’d never be all of these things and yet, there I was.  A few months ago, I was faced with the realization that perhaps this journey I had been on was not leading to a destination in the traditional sense of the term, but that the journey was the destination.  That’s all that it was ever meant to be.  I’m certainly no stranger to this concept, I just hadn’t opened my mind to the possibility that that’s all this was - a bridge.  A way to get me from who I was to whom I needed to be in order to keep going on with life.

Last Friday, I was having a conversation with someone, talking about my future and it struck me how just 3 months ago, I could not have imagined that I would be working full time again.  In an office, none the less, sending emails, and adhering to a dress code.  Last year at this time, I was on such a different path and I was such a different person.  It’s enough to make me pinch myself sometimes.  I like where I am and I feel like it’s right.  I feel like I’m back on track, still heading to where ever it is I’m meant to be.  Actually, I’m not “headed” where I’m meant to be, I AM where I’m meant to be.

I guess that’s all I can really ask for, huh?  Just the knowledge that every moment is intentional, every second is worth experiencing and nothing can be taken for granted.

Filed under Life | Comment (0)